So now that I’ve gone ahead and made a post about depression – which I don’t know all that much about – I thought I’d continue the streak by giving some work-out tips!
I’m not kidding! (Okay, so they’re not exactly tips; they’re just some friendly reminders)
The essence of it is: Don’t try to rush it! If you work out regularly, you can disregard this, but if you’re one of those schmucks who finally decided to beef up or beef down or get a healthier lifestyle or whatever – you need to live by this rule.
I’ve been in and out of shape a few times myself. I grew up the skinny nerd-type in elementary, then evolved into the skinny emo-type in high-school. (I’m a fantasy writer, remember? Of course I was a geek/metalhead in my teens!) In the military, I first grew skinnier and more muscular, then actually gained mass towards the end. (Pot-belly mass, not muscles. Free food and guard-duty is a bitch!) Since then, I’ve more or less been exercising regularly. I started out with a lot of muscle-building, then branched out to jogging and bicycling. I more or less grew into a 50% bigger version of myself, only this time (mostly) muscular and (mostly) healthy. Screw modesty, I’ll just say it: I looked pretty fucking OK for the most part. Then I graduated and started working, and my work-outs faded into obscurity. I’m still the same size, but things are . . . softer now.
Now that I’m getting close to the right track again, a few things occurred to me. And though every ‘professional’ out there can tell you the same thing, I thought I’d try to make it more poignant: You can’t expect results overnight. Nor over a week. Maybe not even two weeks, or a month! This is the part everybody knows, but not everybody lives by. And why is that? Because people do expect rapid success and quick change, that’s why. Because people work out for external reasons and rewards. Many a work-out starts with ‘I’ll show those assholes!’ and that’s a good thing. If being called fat, even in a jest by friends, is what gets you off your ass, that’s fantastic. But here’s the rub: You won’t show them. Not right away, at least, and maybe never. The only person you can prove anything to, is yourself. You can prove it to yourself that they were wrong about you. They might not even be there to see your change. It takes time.
Everyone wants to be able to buckle down for a week, eating granola and yogurt for dinner, working your ass off every single day, then see a definition or two pop up in the mirror. Or a few numbers knocked off the scale. But not everyone will! And the people you’re trying to prove yourself to certainly won’t! Not before you’ve been at it for months! (And by then they’ve probably forgotten about the jokes concerning your size or health anyway.) Working out is a lifestyle, no matter how much you want it not to be. It’s about healthy change over time, and habitual processes. It’s like brushing your teeth: You don’t brush them once you already have holes, hoping to make them go away. You brush them every single day because that keeps the holes to a minimum. You don’t see or feel the effects of a single brush, but imagine how you’d feel if you’d never used a toothbrush! And in time, people, including yourself, will believe that million dollar smile has always been there. Just like your mega-pecks and your rock hard abs and whatnot.
Start today, people! But start slow and keep a steady pace. That’s the only way to get there.
Sincerely, ‘I’m gonna be super ripped by next week’ Bishop.
I’m just gonna lift this a couple of million times and call it a day
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The Fall of Noman 