2 thoughts on “You have to speak your mind!

  1. Those kind of encounters did really get to me, too! I hated it. I wanted to do good, help helpless people. However, I am limited in my fundings and I usually feel conned after such an encounter, instead of having helped someone. So, even if I would have signed that whatever charity, it had not satisfied my need to help someone. That’s what made me so furious. Really enraged.

    One day one of those poor collectors got to hear all my accumulated rage. Fuck off, was not the worst thing I said. And that was not good either. That evening I had a really bad conciseness, because in the end it is just as you say, they only do their job and I am sure half of them don’t even get paid. I hated to pass any of those collectors at Nordre Gate. I even avoided Midtbyen during high season of those charity collectors. Yes, you always have to speak your mind. But that did not help me. It just made it bad in a different way.

    But then, I found a different way to handle those situations. I started to think more like a conman myself. Just put yourself in their point of view. They try to take you off-guard. The first seconds are important to get your attention, then they usually just ran down a pre-memorized interview. If you manage to shake them out of their concept, it can get really funny. Make a game out of. I am sure you have a great imagination how to make this funny. I have used to ask them questions like: “Oh, where did you buy those shoes, they are awesome!” Then they answer you, but suddenly they realize that they lost their game, and they try to get in again. It is really funny to observe this. Now, you are ahead of the game. So wait for their next move, or you can make a move yourself. You should have some moves prepared. One of my moves is that I tell them that I am member of Engineers Without Borders, and I ask if they have heard of it. If not, I tell them something about it, and I even ask them if they want to become a member. And suddenly I am the collector, and they are the victim.
    You could tell them that you are a writer. And then ask them if they have heard about your newest book. And maybe they want to buy it? 🙂

    It is a really nice game, not only can it be really funny, you can also train your ability with people, you get more aware of those situations when they occur and it gets more difficult to con you. It makes you stronger and more relaxed for those kind of stuff. (Talking about cons, I saw this really great TV series called “White Collar” about a really good conman, I can recommend.)

    And yes, I will buy your damn book! I wanted to buy it at your door, however you are empty of books I heard. So I have to order it in the internet. Just trying to get over my extremely high internet shopping wall… 😉

    • Yeah, I suppose ‘speaking your mind’ can go either way. I can see how it’ll affect you in a negative way when you have it bottled up. I have a feeling it’ll go down the same way with me, actually. Still, I find that it’s better to tell them to ‘fuck off’ in the long run. After all, you’ll never see them again, but if you’re ‘conned’ you’ll end up bleeding money, and feeling like a fool for a long, long time. And even though they’re just doing their job, they know exactly how to get to people. They feed on our insecurities.

      For me, I think a simple ‘NO!’ would suffice. Before letting them rope me in at all. If they still persist, tell them; ‘No! That’s final, and now you’re just being rude and intruding my space.’ And if I just keep walking, it’s not like they can follow me indefinitely. But I always fool myself, by thinking I should hear them out, and then politely decline. (Which almost never works, in my case at least.)

      Conning them right back is brilliant! I have never thought about that. I have a friend who’s a fucking wizard when it comes to dealing with these people. When Omega supplements were all the rage, he’d ask if they had some pills without the supplement, because it gave him ‘mad diarrhea’ – the salesman was completely stumped! It’s an excellent way to work on ‘people skills’, like you say. Maybe I’ll try that next time. “Don’t you know who I am? Maybe you’ve seen me? No? Isn’t … Isn’t that why you stopped me? To ask about my next book?”
      I’ve been meaning to check out White Collar for some time now. I really like Matt Boomer, so it should be fun. Thanks for the recommendation. 🙂

      And thank you! I don’t want to tear down any shopping walls though… I do plan on getting another stack, since people keep asking, and it’s nice to have actual physical copies to show them. While I do benefit more from Amazon purchases (sales, charts and so forth), you’re welcome to wait until I get the next shipment. (Although it could be February / March) 😉

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