jealousy

This one is for all you negative nellies out there. And you youngsters too. (I know, I’m not that old myself, but bear with me, please.)

Don’t dismiss an entire concept outright just because someone else has trouble with elements of it.

What on earth did I just say? Let me simplify: When someone is having trouble related to their significant other; don’t immediately say, ‘This is why I’m never getting married.’ First of all, you don’t know that, no matter how old you are. If you’re divorced, I can understand that you’re a little scorned on the subject, but if you’ve never been married, you can’t possibly know enough about it to just dismiss it like that. This goes double if you’re young, because young people – myself included – have a tendency to generalize and simplify most things. Never getting married, never having kids, never doing this or that. Yes, you are, my dear. Not because it’s the grown-up thing to do, but because someday you might actually want to.

‘I’m never having kids, they’re so annoying!’

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I’ll be quick and blunt. I have ‘unique’ parents. They’re negative, angry, semi-drunks who always put themselves first. I didn’t exactly grow up in a broken home, but my childhood was pretty fucked up because of those two. If I were to vent about my parents though, it wouldn’t fit in a blog post. That’s why I’ve tried to narrow it down to make it a little general and relatable to others. So here it is; five things that I wish my parents would always keep in mind:

Yes, I am smarter than you. No, I’m not trying to rub it in your faces.

When I use words like insinuate, retroactive and arbitrary, I’m not trying to show off. I’m trying to have a normal conversation with you. People I know use those words all the time. They’re not difficult words! When you stop the entire conversation to point out that I’m ‘one-upping’ you with my ‘fancy words’, I don’t want to talk to you anymore. For fuck’s sake, I’m your son! I’m supposed to reach higher and go further. It’s not my fault you got stuck in life and hate everything. Every time I argue against you, you hit me with that shit! Want me to agree with you? Stop preaching blind hatred for everything that moves!

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